Oh Goodness… I’m That Lady.

So I decided that I am decidedly sick of having to deal with hair. I think, “Maybe I should just chop it all off again.” I promptly remember that I’ll regret it in a month. I sit in my neighborhood Starbucks and a girl walks in with the coolest mohawk, the sides of her hair buzzed with the cutest subtle lines. UGH I want that. As a matter of fact, it looks just like something I should have. I’m cool enough to rock a mohawk. But again, in two months tops I’ll be wanting hair back. Still, the image has been haunting me and I have the itch.

So because my hair and I are enemies I go to my stylist and order one Keratin treatment please. Get the frizz out, help it grow back stronger, do whatever the hell it’s supposed to do. Just give me a reason to keep fighting the fine fight and not chop it all off.

It takes a ridiculously long time to complete the process, but it looks and feels amazing by the end. Soft and silky. I even tossed in some color to jazz things up because if there’s one thing I’m reliable at it’s getting bored with myself. Overall, well done. My hair has fallen back into my good graces… for now.

So now my stylist tells me that I can’t wet my hair for a few days. The treatment takes some time to settle in and process. Okay, no problem. Except there’s a big problem. It’s South Florida in the summer time. This is the land of sun one second and rain the next. Beach one day, indoor activities the next. It’s rainy season and not surprisingly it’s raining outside. 

So she puts a shower cap on my head and sends me on my way.

The way she put the cap on though. It was meticulous, making sure not a strand was exposed to the poisonous wet air. You think I’m going to take this thing off in the car and replace it when I pull up in my driveway? Risk a string of hair getting wet and going unnoticed? What happens then? Am I condemned to walking around this world with a patch of what looks like mutated frizz somewhere in the back of my head? I’m not taking any chances.

I drive down the busy street in very slow moving traffic. My windows are not tinted unfortunately. I promise you it wasn’t my imagination that every decent and half-decent looking person who lives in my timezone pulled up next to me at some point on that looong way home. Well, it must’ve been my imagination because became to ashamed to even risk making eye contact with any fellow drivers. I was THAT woman. I was the woman driving along with a shower cap on her head. It was one of the least elegant moments in my life and believe me, dear Reader, I have a few to choose from. You know when you look at a person and just know for a fact that they must be looney tunes? Yeah. That was me to the world.

I spent the next couple of days avoiding the gym and running back into the house to stuff a just-in-case shower cap into my bag. You ever want to feel like a frumpy uncool hag you try avoiding the shower cap flashing from your purse when shopping and pulling out your wallet. #showercaplife

11 thoughts on “Oh Goodness… I’m That Lady.

  1. This made me laugh and remember the time I decided it’d be a great idea to have my hair dyed punky plum. We do do crazy things to our hair just cuz we’re bored. And, yes, yesterday I was looking at THE hairstyle that’s supposed to be perfect for all face shapes. The blunt cut. With my luck, it won’t. I say ‘Go for the Mohawk!’ 😉


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