This evening. I’m home alone. The kids are with their dad. I’m totally alone. I’m dancing in front of a mirror to Devil In Me by Anderson East. This is amazing. This is something of value. This is a gift. Not everyone gets to have a regular night like this. There is value in singleness. This is but one of them.
And as I think about this, Lonely comes on. Listen to it now, will you? East is listing, in his earthy and slow way, the empty place in which he finds himself; alone. Then his voice rises with the instrumentals, yet digging its way down in tone and lyrics. He lists his numerous faults, his doubts, his self-judgement. How many hours do we spend playing in our minds what we could-should-would have done, instead of enjoying our present moment of singleness? What’s the ratio?
As the song nears its end, I can hear the desperation deepen and rise. It’s the single person’s grief and regret song. It’s sensual and pleading. It’s damn good.
But it also romanticizes the misery of singleness.
And this is wrong. Singleness has many beautiful gifts, if one is willing to remove the lenses of convention and bias, and see it for what it really is.
There are many ways to love. And dancing alone in my living room, in the evening, to sensual music, is one of them. So. How about we love moments. Love the quarrel free night. Love your time is all yours. Love the choice of music is all yours. No compromises on music. Love two rolls of sushi for dinner. Love a glass of wine and your favorite movie.
How about instead of romanticizing the misery of singleness, we romanticize the gifts of singleness? This is but one way that I enjoy singleness. Please share yours. We’d all love to hear it. Maybe you could write a ‘value of singleness’ post of your own. (Mild suggestion). And maybe search to read the singleness posts that others have already written. (Strong suggestion).*
*I have absolutely no idea whether my usage of parentheses and periods are correct. It felt somewhat right. Grammarphiles are cringing right now.