So, I haven’t been to the gym in a long while. Almost 3 months a long while. Not too long ago- 5 months ago- that would’ve been unheard of. So. I feel for the first time, a little anxious about going back. I’ve put on about ten pounds since the time I’ve been absent. And I’m short, so it shows.
So, my body is banging does not mean that it’s super fantastic. It means it’s in pain after a few rounds around the block with my bike. My legs feel banged up. But I want to keep going. My thin cotton top is blowing in the wind, fluttering across my body. My muscles are tight and I’ve always loved that feeling. I keep my shoulders back and broad. It stretched me. Everything from up here is a new perspective.
My brain is on alert for cars behind me or ahead. Is that where “feeling alive” comes from? I look 3 and 4 times before turning corners. I remember that when I was a child, I turned left while looking right, twisting to see behind me. Now I reach corners and my body is paralyzed while my head is darting back and forth like a baseball player on second.
But between last night and tonight it’s gotten better. I’ve gained some confidence. Already. And in this moment I decide that biking will be my thing. I used to love weight-lifting. I still love it. But I used to only love weights. There was one year that I ran every morning, and it felt like pure earthly bliss. But that was a long time ago.
But now, feeling free and childlike, not oppressed and strained, I accept it. There are no weights. No people. No support. No comparisons. No nothing but me, and the wind, and my bike, and my sore legs, pressing and turning. And the trees. I decide in that moment, to let biking be my thing. Let it usher in the moment of my comeback. I can do this every day. This feels good. Home is right here. I love this bike. I love this neighborhood. The sky is always beautiful, always. I feel child-like and adult-like. So this is my most recent goal, to become a regular biker.
Introducing: My Baby!
For the sake of full disclosure: Last night, after my bike ride, I did lunges and squats in the driveway before locking up the bike and heading in. I love it, gosh!
Oh yeah, thankfully I have a baseball cap on and- avoiding eyes- ride right past the AT&T guy, as he walks up someone else’s driveway.