Sophie presses the brakes just when her life is about to go full throttle. She’s jumpy about recklessness, and everything is reckless. Success is reckless. Feeling confident is reckless. Getting up the nerve to do something differently, all reckless.
She dates insecure men who don’t challenge her to be great. They make excuses for her and encourage her love of comfort. They love women with a potential for greatness but the lack of confidence to pursue it. The best of both worlds. Everyone admires her; he rides her waves of potential.
Slim chance of her leaving the comfort of this mediocre relationship. She feels discontent, but she lathers herself with his sensitivity. He understands how hard it is to take chances. He doesn’t push her; she doesn’t push him. The pressure is so low.
Sophie is afraid of commitment. Great things require commitment. If only the word wasn’t so fucking scary. Every day she hears people speak of her talents, her potential, her power. It sounds like commitment, and commitment is reckless. Who knows what might happen? Recklessness is for Disney princesses.
Sophie the kid had many naked and half-dressed Barbies. One Ken doll. There was never a wedding. She wanted the freedom to change her mind, switch things up. Why close the options? Now she feels stuck with one Barbie. One Ken doll.
Sophie undercharges for her services. She trembles to ask for more. She’s a fraud, after all. Someone’s bound to discover this. At least they won’t feel conned. She’ll save face that way.
Sophie finds out he’s been cheating. Sophie finds out she isn’t good enough. Sophie cries. Sophie feels she is good enough. Sophie cries. Sophie leaves him. Sophie sleeps with him, fights with him, leaves him. Leaves him. Sleeps with him, cries with him, sleeps with him, leaves him. Sleeps with him. Leaves him. Fights with him, leaves him. Cries. Leaves him. Leaves him. Leaves him. Done.
Sophie raises her prices. Sophie feels she’s worth it. Sophie’s scared they won’t believe her. She’s scared she’s made a mistake. She’s scared. She’s always scared. Sophie puts on her lipstick. Sophie washes her hair. Sophie charges a little more.
I think that this piece has bits and pieces that many of us can relate to. As for me, the paragraph on commitment goes deep. I’m not a fan of commitment, and it’s something that I’m slowly learning to embrace.
I hope that you enjoyed this tale and can gain something from it, and if so, I’d love for you to share.