Sometimes the very thought of something is so repulsive that you dare not turn your eye toward it. You dare not give it energy because you don’t know if you can handle it coming true. Your guts wobble in terror just thinking about thinking about it.
It’s been 5 days since my writing journal has gone missing. It’s been 5 days of me balancing precariously between controlled human and steaming pile of screaming, crying human. I want to stay positive. They keep saying positivity helps. No one said it was easy.
My guts are wobbling in terror. My bowels are dangerously close to falling out of my nether regions. There’s been gasping for air; there’s been holding my breath. There’s been telling myself it’s coming back to me, it has to come back, it’s around here somewhere, just be patient and it’ll turn up. It’s in some random place I haven’t checked yet; it’s hiding in plain sight. It’s meant to be in my life; it wouldn’t leave me like this. This is all a dream; this is just a nightmare. This is all material.
Two weeks ago, a computer virus deleted my entire travel folder and iwannabealady folder– the two most important folders on my computer. My eye is definitely twitching. Every time I write a beautiful line in a random crap notebook my eye twitches.
Let’s just say that my soul is going into hibernation. What will that look like? Probably just like everyone else’s soul.
Pin that to your Quotes board. I’m dropping truth today. Can you handle it?
I ended up on the Poets & Writers website yesterday and got some inspiration to write because writing has been painful. I chose this prompt because, well, my eye is twitching and my soul is raging against the dying of the light.
I’ll be sharing what I came up with soon. Turns out the only thing that’s made me feel better about my lost writing is writing. Writers gotta write. I’d love to be encouraging to you all in some way today, so I’ll share this great resource for writers looking for inspiration.
Also, here’s the video of last week’s Lit Talks, the last public sighting of me not looking like a desperate wild woman digging under sofa cushions, car seats and closets.
Please like and subscribe and maybe tell me I’m pretty. I need every positive I can get! I appreciate all of you for being here. 🙂