It’s that time of year again. More specifically, Saturday. September. Witness months of mulling over whether I’ll ride my bike, go for a jog, or lift a weight. Every night I say tomorrow morning and every tomorrow morning I say tonight. Ad nauseam. The result? I’m still feeling good and sexy in my body, but I’m sliding downhill faster than a speeding bullet. Okay, the metaphor was mixed and sucky, but so are my feelings these days toward working out, so it works out well. Besides, I secretly love mixed metaphors; like, who doesn’t?
In the kitchen, everything is set up for cooking; everything but one thing. Behind me lies months of scattered workouts; before me lies the promise of, let’s just say, a lot of carbs. Outside, clouds darken the sky. It would be sensible to take the car, but with the planet losing its fight to survive and my thighs losing muscle mass, I do the thing I’ve been saying I would do but haven’t done. I pull on my sneakers and pull out my bike.
Stepping outside, clutching the handlebars, I feel like a stranger in a familiar land, giddy and anxious. Not anxious in a good way. Anxious in the I haven’t done this in a while, and my body is cursing my inconsistency one moment and the next moment begging me to stay (like one of those annoying relationships where you kind of want to stay, but you kind of want to go, so you linger and suffer a dull sense of dread instead).
It’s all silly, of course. I’ve never regretted a workout in my life. I always feel better, stronger, more alive. It’s just that damn getting back onto the wagon business that kills me. Or is it the falling off the wagon that kills me? Anyhow, I’m ready to take off when I notice that the tires need air. Certain this is some sick test of the universe, I stand in my driveway grappling. Do I dare re-enter the house? Will I ever come out again? Is this my only chance to make things right? The weight of storm clouds rests on my shoulders.
I decide that I’m a big girl and declare my intention to do whatever it takes to get on this bike. This ride will be challenging enough, I don’t need to make it miserable by riding on deflated tires.
Did I mention that the sun was sheltered by clouds, the cool breeze in the air, the low humidity and the pretty sky? I feel proud and energetic, in love with the day.
Halfway to my destination, my thighs give out a faint whimper. I’m incredulous. How dare my muscles not be exactly where I left them months ago? Of course, I wasn’t incredulous in the true sense. I’ve been feeling my muscles soften and melt away for months, but I like living on the edge. Preferring my endeavors to have a whiff of desperation in them, I hold out till the last minute like a game of chicken. Oh, my muscles haven’t completely vanished yet? Let me wait it out a little longer.
I turn my attention to things outside my body, like the smell of barbecue coming from a nearby house. Dammit. I turn my attention somewhere else. The breeze, the people, the trees– the infamous hill. So, there’s this hill, and my grocery store is at the top of this hill. The size of the hill is dependent on how long it’s been that I haven’t worked out. Today the hill is big. Anytime I face a physical challenge like this one, I like to tell myself cheesy things in preparation, things like I’m Rocky Balboa. I lift my butt off the seat, sing out loud, and power through.
I walk into Publix invigorated but am deflated when I see hurricane is coming type lines at the registers. Why are all these people here? Did I miss something? Is there something wonderful happening somewhere that I don’t know about? Somewhere sports bars are filling up, lawn chairs are being whipped out onto lawns, folks are gathering on the couch for what promises to be the greatest show ever. Everyone will watch it with salsa and chips; I’ll hear about it the next day on Instagram.
My friends will say, “Oh yeah, I thought you knew about it. You’re so into that sort of stuff. You would’ve loved it.”
Standing in the express lane, which is now just the less slow lane, I lean over to the man in front of me and ask what all the fuss is about. He doesn’t know, he’s visiting the area. We make witty banter, and in no time I’m all checked out. On my bike at the top of the hill, I feel accomplished and empowered. I remember that I can feel my heart pumping, blood flowing, deep breathing, muscles tightening, nerves tingling any time I want. It’s in my control.
Let’s face it. Inconsistency is a pain. Having to get back on track over and over again can sometimes feel like standing still, but here’s what I’ve found:
Calling myself terrible names only drains my energy. Focusing on my disappointment makes me feel crappy. Seeing myself as a failure makes me more likely to fail. If there’s something you want to do but haven’t done. Try to look at each day as bringing you closer to your goal, not further away from it.
Instead of: There goes another week of me not working out. What a fail.
Try: It’s been a week of me not working out. I can’t wait to get back to it tomorrow. It’s going to feel great to get back on track.
My intention is to make September the month of me getting back on track. It’s starting with a bike ride to the grocery store. What do you intend on getting back to?
If you haven’t checked me out on Instagram, I’d love it if you would! I’ll be going on Live a couple times this week to discuss this topic more, so hit that follow button 🙂
Wow. Amazing !!!
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Thanks, Anaisa 🙂
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Before summer, it was time that I made an excuse about and now it’s the heat- I’ll have to think of something else for fall 🤨
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Hahaha, fall is literally perfect, so if you come up with something, let me know! Maybe you’ll develop an allergy to pumpkin spice 😄
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Stunning. So stunning. Your way with words hypnotizes me. God. Can I keep you?! Also- September is the “your my bitch” month, in which we OWN. We simply OWN.
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Did you just propose a beautiful matrimony of making me your bitch? I’ll take it! Also, your compliment about my writing will be stored into some cozy corner of my soul and kept forever. Thank you so much 💜😚
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LOL!!! Love ya Lyz. You little Shakespearean caramel truffle you!🤗
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Getting back onto the wagon is SO HARD. I have just started running again, and my body is pissed! I do love running, but getting myself out the door always presents the biggest challenge. I think of every excuse in the world not to go, but I go. And then I am ALWAYS so thankful that I did. Good for you! Keep it up, you got this!
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Thanks for sharing! Running is like that for me as well. Once I get into it, my body craves it every day. Bit one I stop for a while, I feel like it’s the worst possible thing I can subject myself to, lol. Next time I head out, I’ll pretend you’re along side me. We’ll be running mates! I can use the extra boost! 💜 See you on our next run 🤗
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At the beginning of last month, I suspended my gym membership for the month since I was getting married and going on honeymoon (I wanted to save my $40). As of yesterday, my membership is back to being active. Did I go to the gym yesterday? No, but I’ve been enjoying my time working on some hobbies I’ve put off. I know I’ll get back eventually and it will probably suck, but it will for sure be for the best. You can’t live your best life if you don’t feel your best, right?
And the lines at the grocery store were probably from the preparation of the FSU vs. Virginia Tech football game…. GO HOKIES! 😛
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That line thing was still low key bothering me, so thank you! Also, I know exactly what you’re experiencing. Not spending 2 or more hours of my day at the gym really opened up a lot of time for things I had put off, things that I love to do. I reeaally enjoyed that time off and told guilt to stfu. Enjoy it, boo boo! 🤙
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Great Read!!! I’m intending on getting back to running! Thanks for this piece 🙂
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I see you on Instagram sporting your cute workout gear 🙂 My physique responds very well to running. Can’t wait to get over this uphill part and back to a regular dose of exercise. We’ve got this!
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Aaaaww you’re too sweet! Yep! Looking forward to when it becomes so regular, that it will feel weird for me NOT to workout…lol
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Sooooo I just ordered a bike a few days ago. Summer’s temperatures have been hellish and I’m hoping this will inspire me to get back on the bandwagon too. Thankfully, my lil tricycle has a basket for groceries just in case I miss the hurricane memo and need to stock up on whatever people stock up on during a hurricane.
I love that your posts are always literary works!! So enjoyable to read!
Self talk is real. Especially when you have high standards for yourself… it’s very easy to self deprecate (speaking from personal experience here). I wish you lots of amazing bike rides this fall!
Dom | http://www.DivaNamedDom.com
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I’m so sorry for the late response in this comment. I’ve been slippin! I’m so glad to hear you got a bike, especially with the weather starting to cool down. I ride in the early mornings or at sunset. I want to see a picture of your bike. You should post it on social media, unless its hideous and you’re secretly embarrassed by it. No pressure 😅
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Hehe, I think it’s super cute! But I also bought a tricycle as a thirty-something adult. I was reading the reviews for it and noticed they’re all by senior citizens! 😳 Maybe we can ride out together! 💕
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Well you know I’m old as dirt now anyway, so yeah, my down for shizzle. You know if they’re still playing kanasta out in these streets? Also, it’s hilarious that you have a tricycle and I’ve been told I look like Mary Poppins on my bike because it’s a vintage style. It was meant to be. Cue the sunset!
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To writing my book. I have been falling off the tracks too. With my in-laws visiting, all my routine went for a toss.
Loved the way you wrote your post, Lyz. The note of contemplation and ‘sucky’ metaphors as you put it, the darkening skies and the cool breeze as you powered up the hill — there is atmosphere and then there’s oodles of determination to grab me. xx
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Thanks for sharing. stunning. its really stunning
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Great blog! I really need to buy a new bike and get to riding again, its been years.
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Thanks so much! You’ll feel amazing with the wind blowing across your face and clouds above your head. It had been years for me as well, but I love that I got back to it. Go for it 🙂
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Ok so I have been doing mixed martial arts training because I decided I wanted to do one of those cage fights. Yea, nuts and everything, but its like, the idea of not working out and then literally being beaten for it is so motivating! haha!!
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Yeah inconsistency sucks.. and we often feel miserable. Key is to stay motivated and keep writing about it so that others can also stay motivated.
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Absolutely, keep looking forward to the next opportunity to get back to it. There are so many ways to stay active, including hula!
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I love your story telling. I’m going to check out more of this site
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I appreciate hearing that so much! Thanks for taking the time to say so 😊
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It’s never too late to start again! Good luck on your fitness journey ❤️
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i like your content! keep doing that.
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