Category: Being a Lady

Pointing with my knuckles.

I’m a sporadic sort. Flighty, inconsistent, unreliable. I’m a free-spirit damn it! I’m not ashamed of it, but I am often ashamed of the consequences of it. When it comes to my failures at being a lady, the thing that shows my inconsistency more than anything else is probably the condition of my nails.

Flashback: Hotdog

I just had a flashback. Cue pulse of blinding white light. I’m in the past. I’m sitting on the floor in the tiled hallway of my childhood home; I’m talking on the phone with my boyfriend. The hallway was as far as the cord could reach. So I pulled the phone from the kitchen and had conversations in the hallway. My

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My Mother and Girl Power

So I grew up in the age of Girl Power. Us girls were told that we could do anything, be anything. We were presented with posters of women playing sports and dressed in astronaut gear. We were shown women in suits. Power suits with shoulder pads. You didn’t mean business if you didn’t have shoulder

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I Should Have Punched This Guy In the Lip

Part One: The door-to-door AT&T salesperson is a bona fide douche. So, the AT&T guy made himself quite comfortable in my home this evening. When I mention to him that he might be a murderer, which is perfectly normal, he laughs it off and says, “Why would I want to lie?” Ughhhh. Duhhhh. Cause you

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A Name By Any Other Name Is Not Just As Sweet: On The Maiden Name

So last night I went to my cousin’s lingerie-themed bachelorette party and had a great time. It was an interesting study in people to see the ways in which each woman would turn the corner and make her appearance in her chosen garb. Some were full diva status with lace cutouts and plunging necklines; some clutched

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My Bra is All Wrong, and I’m Burning In Hell For It

There are certain routines that annoying people establish which help them to be more efficient at life. One of those things is setting out their clothes the night before work. I imagine that they wake up refreshed, make coffee and breakfast, check their calendar for the day’s appointments, and cruise to work in peace. I

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Be a Lady, But Don’t Be Nice

So, I’m trying to teach my kids how to be entrepreneurs. I want them to understand the benefits and the mindset needed to be independently successful. That being said, I had to teach my daughter to not be nice. Yes, it seems like a direct contradiction to the title of this blog, but here’s why

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That Other Thing That Disappoints My Mother

Where are your earrings? No necklace? Here we go again… I’m on my way to some family function and my mom points out my lack of detailing. For her, a dress means nothing without jewelry to give it life. Standing before her, I am nothing but an empty shell of a woman who tried to

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