These people show up to the cafe section with their child– and before you scoff, I’ve got two children of my own– and you know what they do upon their arrival? Proceed to disrupt the thought processes of everyone around them. I get it. People have got to eat. And people have got to keep their kids entertained. But, tell me, what sort of self-absorbed … Continue reading The Barnes and Noble People From Hell: A Rant
I know you probably haven’t met me in person, but if you had, I could probably ask you that question in the title and you’d probably have an answer for me. The reason for this? I’m pretty damn sure I have an inner ear problem because I apparently can’t not talk loudly. According to various sources– some near and some far away– I am always the … Continue reading Talk Like a Lady
“This is why I never change bags.” I was packing up some things recently and realized the gravity of my bag obsession when I needed one large box solely for storing my large bags. To clarify, this box didn’t include my handbags or clutches, which I also needed boxes for. Now, I don’t see a problem with my owning this many purses. I love every one … Continue reading I left it in my other purse. This is why I never…!
“…I learnt early and often that one doesn’t leave a place, class or culture and enter another, but rather holds the privilege and burden of many narratives simultaneously.” – from “Poor Teeth” by Sarah Smarsh This is an excerpt from a profoundly insightful and thought-provoking essay that I read today. The subject itself grabbed my attention because it was about how, in America, our teeth are … Continue reading A Lady with Class(es)
Parents, let me ask you a question. If your kids had to come up with a nickname to describe a negative personality trait of yours that, to your chagrin, you haven’t been able to shield them from, what would that name be? Bossy Pants? Angry Man? Toilet Hogger? Screaming Banshee? Mr. Hypocrisy? Endless Talker? Or perhaps, Ms. What-does-listening-mean-I’ve-never-heard-of-it? A recent conversation with my daughter … Continue reading Grumpy Mom
On a recent trip to the gym, my friend dragged me along with her to get our BMI checked. Although not unhappy with my body, I’m not exactly where I want to be on a fitness level. I didn’t want to do it. It didn’t help that one of the trainers would be involved in this circus. This device that one holds in their hands … Continue reading Why, Thank You?
It has come to my attention that my morning cup of joe is the cause of all my problems. ALL OF THEM. I know you think this is some slick hyperbolic statement formulated to grab your attention but hear me out…. I workout on a regular basis and I look pretty darn good if I do say so myself. I can hit the gym no … Continue reading The Coffee Made Me Fat
This, of course, is according to my mother. As most of you know, it is World Cup season. And as many of you also know, I have a problem with ladylike quiet. I am also a huge sports fan, an adrenaline junkie and a nut for competition. Combine all of these with my inner ear problem and a mother who is my exact opposite and … Continue reading I’m An Embarrassment to My Mother and Women Everywhere
So I decided that I am decidedly sick of having to deal with hair. I think, “Maybe I should just chop it all off again.” I promptly remember that I’ll regret it in a month. I sit in my neighborhood Starbucks and a girl walks in with the coolest mohawk, the sides of her hair buzzed with the cutest subtle lines. UGH I want that. … Continue reading Oh Goodness… I’m That Lady.
When I was but a little lady, I dreamed, as I suppose most girls do, of living in a lovely home with lots of girlie things. As teenagers my sister and I got a fresh coat of lavender purple on our bedroom walls and I swear it felt like the room glowed in a way that only fairy tale rooms do. Everything seemed to change. … Continue reading Unabashedly Feminine