I need to announce to you all that hours after publishing today’s blog post– Messy Cars Anonymous— I parked under a tree. Yes, my car got shat on by a shit ton of birds. I’m appalled that the Universe would question my integrity and true intentions (to keep my car clean) so suddenly and violently. Without a warning.
Okay, real adults would know not to park under trees, but maybe adulting is hard, and just maybe I’m not a real adult. Maybe I’m the sister of Pinocchio that no one ever knows about. It happens all the time. The forgotten woman. While Pinocchio was busy in the world having adventures and learning lessons, I was making stew for men who had run out and forgot to leave firewood. You know how I earned my real humanhood? I cut down firewood. And I was made of wood, so you can imagine how dangerous. You know what else? My stew was delicious. I do wish I could remember not to park my car under trees, though. Heat must defeat bird poop.
Behold my day of reckoning. A beautiful day ends with a test. Stay tuned.
Lyz-Stephanie
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I park under trees and get tree sap on my car among other things. I suppose its better to have your car take the poop vs your shoulder or something like that.
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Lol, down that road. I love it! Feel like I know the road like my own hand.
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You crack me up! We have a different issue- dumpster kitties crawling on our windshield 🙈
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😂 I would’ve never thought of that as an issue people have!
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And so the heavens opened, and that upon which you thought, was delivered.
That’s how it works, isn’t it????
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The law of attraction come to bite me! Lolol. This life stuff is complicated…
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Came for the birds, stayed for the writing. I park under trees all the time, so sue me, I like the shade.
-Knurly
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Aww, thanks hon! I love the shade too. And this car doesn’t have tinted windows yet, and it was fucking hot. We’ve just got to pay the price for being divas. We got sued and the price is bird crap, lol
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Making stew for men who had run out and forgot to leave firewood reminds me of this sing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ywuF-N8xXQ
I think you may like it.
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Okay, I just watched the video. Thanks so much! You know I love me some folk music. Her voice is great and the lyrics, “I’m ready for my sugar daddy” good stuff 😀
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Oh no! It does sound like the universe is out to get you with your new car goals hahaha.
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Me and the universe are gonna have to wrestle it out for the win!
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Lol!!! I hate those damn trees with the yellow flowers and their pollen-fuckeries!!!! It STAINS THE PAINT ON YOUR CAR!!!! You basically need like a wax and buff and 3 paint jobs after parking under one of those bitches! DIE TREES! Dieeee! I don’t need oxygen I need my car pretty thanks! Lol 😆
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Omgggg yes! I loved those trees so much growing up. I wanted one to fill up my yard and remind me of the American Dream every time I looked out my window. But you know adulthood- it loves to take your little dreams and crush them under the weight of a million falling leaves and pollen. I’ll keep admiring them from afar.
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