Tag: Humor

Why Your Drafts Folder Is Stacking Up

There’s a part of me that likes to see a high number in my drafts folder. There’s something soothing about not having to start from scratch. Knowing that something is needing you in order to feel whole, quite frankly, feels good. You therapists out there can analyze me if you like.

A Little Tribute to Storytellers

Don’t you just love those people who are such storytellers that, even when you inform him or her that you’ve heard the story told before, he says, “Shut up and listen to my story,” and just keeps telling it? And we always end up smiling at the same parts, rolling our eyes, laughing out loud, calling out “Oh, whatever!” at

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My Body Is Bangin’, or I’m Changed Tonight

So, I haven’t been to the gym in a long while. Almost 3 months a long while. Not too long ago- 5 months ago- that would’ve been unheard of. So. I feel for the first time, a little anxious about going back. I’ve put on about ten pounds since the time I’ve been absent. And

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I Should Have Punched This Guy In the Lip

Part One: The door-to-door AT&T salesperson is a bona fide douche. So, the AT&T guy made himself quite comfortable in my home this evening. When I mention to him that he might be a murderer, which is perfectly normal, he laughs it off and says, “Why would I want to lie?” Ughhhh. Duhhhh. Cause you

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I’d Rather Crash and Burn, Spontaneously

A few years ago, I would’ve described myself as an eternally optimistic go-getter. I actually wasn’t that at all, but that was the way that I saw myself. A spontaneous adventurer. The reality is that I was afraid of taking chances. Real chances. I was terrified of failure. Any type of failure. Especially public failure.

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My Bra is All Wrong, and I’m Burning In Hell For It

There are certain routines that annoying people establish which help them to be more efficient at life. One of those things is setting out their clothes the night before work. I imagine that they wake up refreshed, make coffee and breakfast, check their calendar for the day’s appointments, and cruise to work in peace. I

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First Solo Trip with Kids: Washinton D.C.

So I wasn’t the only one starting late. My children were born in the age of my confinement, and thus never had the pleasure of travel either. They were getting older, 8 and 11, and my daughter, in particular, was getting itched by the travel bug. “When will we go to California,” she’d ask. “When

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That Other Thing That Disappoints My Mother

Where are your earrings? No necklace? Here we go again… I’m on my way to some family function and my mom points out my lack of detailing. For her, a dress means nothing without jewelry to give it life. Standing before her, I am nothing but an empty shell of a woman who tried to

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